And the app-based abuse of Black women

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Photograph: Odd Andersen/AFP/Getty Images

Is it me, or is there something wrong with the Clubhouse app, something sinister about it that I can’t quite put my finger on? By now, most of you have heard about Clubhouse. The invitation-only audio-chat iPhone app caused a feeding frenzy as 2020 neared an end, becoming quite the conversation starter as interest created an underground market for the coveted Clubhouse invitation. Like a real glutton for digital punishment, I took the bait, jumping headfirst into the world of random audio exchange. In a matter of hours, I was caught in the…


What if our community’s state is just as much about our skin as it is our psyche?

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Rose Wong

I accidentally dated a narcissist once — a malignant narcissist at that, a top-tier terror. If you’ve never dated a narcissist, I pray for your sake that it stays that way. It is, in fact, as debilitating as they say. These days, we’re all discussing narcissism, but through a limited lens. Social media has normalized the impact of narcissistic abuse while failing to focus adequately on where the disorder begins. I didn’t see my narcissist coming because I was looking in the wrong…


And Black Women are Working Overtime

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South LA: Church mothers, circa 1960

I learned about misogyny from my mother. I was seven years old at the time. One day after church, I overheard her and three of the other church mothers discussing my big sister, Temi, how she’d snuck out the other night to attend a high school party and gotten caught up in some “mess” by “mess” they meant sexual assault. Initially, I thought, nothing to hear here, rebellion was a recurring theme for teenaged Temi. …


When loving a woman makes you less of a man.

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Micaiah Carter for GQ Magazine

What is the sin in simping? This is a question I’ve been dying to ask ever since Russell Wilson’s February GQ interview turned the internet into one big He-Man Woman Hater’s hangout. During the Q&A, Wilson expressed that his greatest fear was losing his wife, R&B singer Ciara, and for some reason, some bizarre reason, this sentiment upset a lot of Black men. To be fair, the outrage is expected when it comes to the Wilson family of five. Black men have been lobbing insults at the Seahawks quarterback ever…


Does Disney sow the seeds of struggle love?

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I grew up, like many of you, watching Disney movies. And the one thing I took from my beloved childhood films was that love wasn’t hard to find; in fact, it would find you. It wasn’t always perfect or planned, but worth it in the end. After all, what woman could say no to her happily ever after? But as I sat with my niece over the weekend and attempted to re-watch a few of the classics, I struggled. I found myself pausing the films, explaining away demeaning diatribes, delivering disclaimers as the characters carried on. What were these movies…


My father didn’t have to see race in a country occupied by tribes, but America made sure she saw him and highlighted the part he couldn’t hide.

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I can remember the day my Dad discovered he was Black. It was a gloomy Sunday afternoon, which is standard for the city of Pittsburgh. My mother washed my sister’s hair in the kitchen sink while my younger sisters and I played pretend on a Disney kitchen set in the basement. In the middle of our make-believe, a loud crash startled us all. We raced up the stairs to see what the commotion…


It’s not Lori’s worth we should be discussing; it’s why we don’t see ourselves as being equally owed the same.

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Less than 24 hours ago, People Magazine’s reigning Sexiest Man Alive, Michael B. Jordan, went public with his rumored romance with model and influencer, Lori Harvey, sharing a couple of candid photos of the pair all close and personal. The two stayed tight-lipped as whispers swirled this past November after the pair were spotted together during the Thanksgiving holiday. But in the age of social media, an Instagram post pretty much seals the deal, leaving inquiring minds stunned at the…


We’ve been trying to make partners of our oppressors for centuries. Black women, it’s not working.

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Creator: jacoblund | Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto

When 28-year-old Brianna Tierra Johnson met 35-year-old Fresno native Victor Campbell Jr.; she probably thought he was an attractive, albeit troubled Black man. Over dating app Plenty of Fish, the pair exchanged stories and past lives, and despite Victor’s troubled past, the two decided to move their casual dialogue to more serious subject matter; a relationship. Victor, who had recently served time for family violence, had little to leverage, well, other than being a man. But Brianna had accomplished quite a bit at her young age.

Leaving family and home far behind to pursue a degree in criminal justice, Brianna…


Fatherlessness is not a generational curse, but it might be a psychological one.

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I hate to say it, but my brothers are bad dads, and by bad, I mean perpetually absent from the lives of their children. Granted, I love both my brothers dearly. I was even idolizing them at one point in my adolescence, which led me to make a couple of questionable decisions of my own. But in the clarity of my adulthood, their decisions have become much harder, at times impossible, to defend. And you won’t hear me making a defense for them here, because there is…


There’s nothing noble about self-neglect.

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When Life Coach and Personal Trainer Sabrina Parr announced the end of her one-year engagement to retired NBA All-Star Lamar Odom, half the internet let out a hearty, “Told you so!” Given Odom’s very public and very problematic marriage to Keeping Up with the Kardashian’s star, Khloe Kardashian, people appeared apprehensive when the pair made their very public engagement announcement. You could say they saw it coming. …

Arah Iloabugichukwu

‘Of Mothers & Daughters’ Now Available in Stores! Twitter/IG @ArahTheQuill www.IAmArah.com 🖤 Show your support: www.buymeacoffee.com/arahthequill

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